Saturday, July 24, 2021

Cyclists, Bloody Cyclists

 

Yes folks, it's that time of the year again. Summer has eventually arrived in these islands but it's been a bit like waiting on a 70-year-old attempting to complete the final mile of a marathon - it may or may not happen - or will it? I mean, when we get to around October, Autumn never seems to have existed and the onset of winter beckons with freezing mornings, midday chills, and possibly a touch of snow (especially in the Highlands). This year Spring doesn't seem to have happened; instead it's been week after week of wind, rain, the odd sunny day, uninvited hail showers, stormy weather, but then a heatwave that originated in the Sahara. And then the cyclists . . .

I was in Surrey recently on a weekend business trip. For four days the sun shone, there were no signs of Spring or the onset of Autumn and it was HOT, bloody HOT . . . but those two-wheeled nutters were out in force on the busy highways and byways of central Surrey. We were driving between Dorking and Leatherhead on the A24. Now on both sides of this very busy dual carriageway there are cycle tracks especially designed to satisfy the needs of these saddle tramps. It's bad enough when one has to zigzag in and out between these cycle-heads in a busy town centre but when they are NOT using the cycle path then one has to conclude that these people are bicycling on another planet – beware Martians!

So, what is the mentality of these handlebar bums? One, it's an addiction. They are addicted to dressing up in that lycra, ultra-skin-tight clothing that shows off all their bits, and don the most outrageous-looking sunglasses, the latter of which they wear even when they're cycling through downpours. Excuse me, why? There's the imbecilic so-called bike helmets. But it's when checking out these head protectors on-line that I discovered some examples and was drawn particularly to their names; here are some: Gamechanger helmet, an S-Cension helmet, then there is the Moventor helmet, and then the Ridge Furnace helmet. Hang on, is this the real world?

But it's the attitude of these traffic hoodlums that gets to all of us car drivers. As we entered Leatherhead, the town centre was quite busy with traffic, but it was when these tyre-trolls zigzagged in-between parked vehicles at traffic lights that made the blood boil. They just didn't give a shit about us, we car owners, who have to fork out hundreds of pounds per year in car tax, insurance, MOTs, etc. And yet these lycralouts pay absolutely not one single penny to use and abuse the roads. If anything else they potentially cause accidents between motor vehicles because we are constantly having to pay attention to their doltish attitude to all and sundry.

So, I shall end this rant by highlighting an article that appeared on the front page of The Mail newspaper on the 17th August, 2017. A person caught the shocking scenes on her mobile camera when more than 40 cyclists swarmed around cars on a busy main road in a dangerous new youth craze. The group of cycle-yobs caused havoc on Chester Road in Birmingham during rush hour. They rode in the middle of the road at 5mph, slowing down traffic and banging on car windows. The huge pack of mobile-mutts were seen risking their lives by blocking off vehicles at slow speed, forcing drivers to swerve around them. It's believed that the cyclists were following in the 'Bikestormz' phenomenon, which sees bikers flood roads in large groups.

So there you have it, these cycle-addicted monsters who are not only just a threat to their own obsessed personalities but to us normal, down-to-earth human beings, who just want to reach their destinations safely instead of having to confront such sordid thickness on two wheels.

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