Azerbaijan! Who - where? I hear you say. I did not see the Eurovision Song Contest here in Azerbaijan as I had more important things to do and, looking back over the years, this awful mockery of the music genre has left me stone cold and feeling totally desparate for the human race. Let's put it this way, it's not on my favourite top 1000 TV programme listings.I actually heard the news the next day while watching BBC World television. I must admit, I was astounded, in that I thought Azerbaijan, one of the least sexier countries in the West (is it in the West?) to win such a competition. So I will take my hat off to Ell and Nikki for a brash, nippy performance which I glimpsed on some Azeri television programme. But, let’s get real - this is the Eurovision Song Contest - a cornucopia of garishness, tastelessness and musical destitution. If you win this competition, where do you go from there? Did anyone, the day before the competition, remember last year’s winner? Did anyone even know what country hosted last year's competition? On both counts, I scored zero!
And anyway how can one call this the Eurovision Song Contest when they allow Israel to take part? Israel is firmly a Middle Eastern country. Russia, correct me if I’m wrong, is in Asia, so why was it in the contest? It is my understanding that those other two Caucasian countries, Georgia and Armenia are NOT European, yet they took part.
So admitting these countries just makes a bigger mockery of what is already a banal event, embarassing to watch, hazardous to the ear.
I will end with a quote from Eldar, the male vocalist of the duo, who said backstage later: "We want to bring Europe together with our song." Well, Eldar, if you wanna bring ‘Europe’ together, then you’d better start by getting your country to sort out your problems with Georgia and Armenia, but specifically the enclave of Nagorno-Karabakh. This daft stand-off has been going on for 23 years with no signs of abating.
But as a Britsh expat living and working in Baku, I feel the winning of this competition will bring some cheer to a city that has witnessed several ugly anti-government demonstrations of late.
As per the Eurovision custom, the winner of the current year’s contest is invited to host the following year's - so will I be going? The answer? Nyet! (No!)
